I've Gotta Work On My Dance Moves...

Looks like I unintentionally ended up on Kotaku this past week. Life achievement unlocked? I have no complaints. I do love me some Keith Apicary... team up in the future? *maniacal laugh*

This week only - in celebration of my new found collegiate freedom, and current Half Life 2 marathon, save 15% on all 'Head First' Photography orders by using the coupon code "HEADCRABS" at checkout: Only 3 self portraits left!

Now the Real Life Questing Begins..

I've waited for this moment my whole life it seems. As of the end of this week I will be completely finished with my collegiate undergraduate program at the University of Hartford.

Now, to say that everything went according to plan would be an outright lie. As you may know, I lost my car in a flash flood at the beginning of my second to last semester. But despite the immediate heartbreak, it was a rewarding experience because it reminded me that the things that matter the most in life are often the those we tend to take for granted. As a result, I gained a better appreciation for the people and hobbies that truly define me as an individual. Here's a picture of my last Spring Fling with co-talent and on-camera personality of STN Channel 2 Ben Wilcox.

Above all, this year has been a bout of tremendous emotional growth for me in terms of channeling my inner most fears through my artwork. Looking back, it had been really difficult for me to reflect on my childhood as well as the affect that video games and the internet have had on my existence. Getting an 'extra life' was the best thing that ever happened to me - I'm glad I stuck around. Hell, I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be, but what spawns my drive is something much more powerful and bigger than myself - it's a message. So if I get a chance at something; at making a difference, speaking out, doing something with my life, I want to be damn sure I'm ready to talk about it.

"Head First" was the series that allowed me to do this. Living the majority of my life on as much medication as I was prescribed was something I used to be ashamed of. It was something I kept secret from my friends, coworkers, even some family members. But everything changed April 28th, at "The Object Strikes Back"Senior BFA Photography exhibition. I came out, so to speak. It was one of the scariest most stressful things I've ever dealt with - but with my parents and friends there to support me, I can say I've never felt so proud. Read my artist statement, or buy a print here.

This past Sunday was also my last day at GameStop. I don't know if I'll ever go back to working retail, but I will always love the constant discussions, and banter that was evoked on a daily basis by my coworkers. I LOVE YOU 206. Perhaps this was why podcasting came off as so natural to me. Ultimately it's something that I would love to get back into.. invite me on your show sometime. We'll talk games.

With my birthday, having just passed May 10th, I think it's pretty safe to say that graduation, along with the booming of my new business, has and will be the greatest gift of all. That, and spending the day with my parents, singing karoake with my friends and ending the event with some Minecraft on XBL. Mission accomplsished. Thanks for the amazing DeadPool themed birthday card Shaun Callahan! You rule with the power of a thousand suns.

So that's that. Who knows where the road leads from here; but I like to think the phrase "when one door closes, another one opens" holds some power. Cheers to all the new opportunities and life achievements I have yet to unlock!

Love and bullets, Bakes

Going Through the Motions

Working at a certain video game retail outlet within the course of my college career could be described as a bittersweet symphony. I met some amazing friends and coworkers over the years. This video serves tribute to all of the car rides, scrounged gas money and Anamanguchi tracked life XP that I have gained within the last 6 semesters of my life..

"Head First": New Series, New Business.

     

Make my dreams a reality: Buy a print!

Head First is more than just a mindset; it is also the name of which my photography bares. You may now view my current photographic portfolio here.

 

Artist Statement

As an only daughter, heavily medicated since the age of six, I saw, experienced, but never felt much of anything. The cold comfort of New Jersey offered little condolence in the place of siblings I never had. Itinerary consumed my being: taking up to seven different uppers and downers each morning upon waking for the various conditions I was told I possessed. My nature, as I knew it to be for most of my life, was completely devoid of all meaning.

A meek reflection of my former self, I was cast into the world deprived of the very things that made me a person. Mechanisms that some would describe as elation and joy, were absent, almost always followed with an uncomfortable tingling sensation. In conjunction with this, I had been written off as the resident ‘problem’ child; disconnected from those who surrounded me. My biggest confidants, as it seemed, were the same therapists and psychiatrists that wanted no more than to maintain a client for the years to come in accordance with their own personal incomes.

I was a burden to my elders, the quintessential ‘weird kid’ of school, and relied on technology, namely the internet, for much of my social interaction. Offering a form of escape, video games became a coping medium, a way for me to create an alternate universe for myself, in hopes to avoid the physical realities that I could not bear with. It was at this point that I fell into oblivion, and became enamored with color. The radiant hues which presented themselves to me in game communicated that there was optimism for my real life situation. This saturation grew more apparent each time I logged off my computer - seen by all but often unappreciated by the anthropological eye.

Taking control, photography served as a vessel of expression. In recollection of my past, a memorial to the asylums, doctor’s offices, psychiatric wards and therapy sessions that unintentionally littered my upbringing, Head First is my color project. This reference is deliberate; not only as a way to make my account of this experience visual and visceral, but to celebrate the clarity of my newfound freedom of thought. Absent of medication for the first time in fifteen years, I have begun to feel and understand what it truly means to be alive.

Though these mental institutions had been abandoned for decades, something strange happened when I photographed them for my series. I found warmth, security, in the deserted and harrowing hallways. Amongst the decay there was a familiarity present, and as it grew dark I felt little opposition to leave. By choosing long exposures, exaggerated colors were created, reflecting the interior life of my soul, existent then and now echoed in my pictures.

Despite times of absolute bleakness there was a light at the end of the tunnel; a constant reminder of destiny. I found beauty amongst the chaos and confusion of growing up alone; color seen at the end of a forbidding maze of an institutional portal, just as it had beckoned to me. Commotion, a constant premature focus of what was in my head, and not my heart; this is head first. 

Ali Baker

2012

PAX East 2012 Video Recap

As promised, here's a follow up video to PAX East 2012. I share with you a few of my favorite games on the show floor as well as some much needed rambles:

Glad to be back internet. Glad to be back.

New Photography is Up!

You may have noticed that I recently posted some of my photography work from earlier this year, including my Homes at Night series, Los Angeles Nightscapes and Sunrise on my Flickr page. We are now in the process of hanging for the Senior Photography Show, so pretty soon I will unleash my thesis on the world. Looking forward to sharing with you all!

Critiques, opinions and comments on my work are always greatly appreciated!